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box_hunter

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box_hunter last won the day on September 5

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  1. I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business. This fat chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said "Hi sweetie... how about you take me back to your place and we'll have some fun?" I said "Sorry, I can't. I haven't got any lubricant". She said breathlessly "You won't need any lubricant with me sweetie". I said "Yes I will. I've only got standard size door frames".
  2. There was a 80-year-old man that married a 21 year-old woman. A year later the woman had a baby and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 9lb 8oz baby boy. The old man replied "This old motor is still a' running!" Next year his wife had another baby and the doctor came out and told the man that he was the father of a 8lb 5oz baby girl. The old man replied "This old motor is still a' running!" The next year his wife was back in the hospital yet again, having their third child and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the fat
  3. He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forwards and backwards, forwards and backwards. Back and forth, back and forth, in and out, in and out. She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back, she was so wet. She moaned softly at first then began to groan louder. Finally, she screamed loudly "Okay, okay!! You smug bastard! You park the fucking car!!".
  4. My wife accused me of being a bad father when I refused to check under our three-year-old son's bed after he cried about monsters under his bed. How ridiculous, if I was such a bad father then I wouldn't have shared my LSD with him in the first place.
  5. The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is that you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven". Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said "I want to hang out with God". St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognised Arthur and said "So you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?" Arthur said "Yeah, that's me..." God said "Well, wha
  6. A policeman on a motorcycle pulls over a car. "What's up?" says the driver. "Your wife fell out the passenger door three miles back" says the policeman. "Thank goodness for that" says the driver. "I thought I'd gone deaf".
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